Dalai Lama Addicted To World Of Warcraft

I suspected this, for some time now. I'm glad he came clean. Said the Dalai Lama, “WOW addiction is most serious. I crave to play with myself daily. Constantly to prance my High Elf, across all Eastern Kingdoms. But now I feel, as, less holy. After 181 days straight, I tried to just meditate away. But, as they say in my golden temple, Withdrawl Ate The Buddha. Now the monks are getting suicidal. Reincarnation stopped working. I have mental health problems. Just let me finish one more quest.”

Review Of Halle Berry’s Nude Sex Scene In “Monster’s Ball”

Halle Berry’s multiple orgasm face turns boys into men. Seriously. This scene is more effective than penis-enhancing cream. (I did a blind taste test. And the buxom brunette who rubbed the ointment on my cock, then licked it off, said that it tasted like nine day old cantaloupe. Whereas instead, she greatly enjoyed deepthroating my clean penis while I watched this scene, looping it again and again.) So If the Oscars ever gave Oscars for Best Sexual Performance... I might actually watch.

Julia Roberts Confesses “I Had Anal Sex With Lyle Lovett”

Like many of you I found the news shocking. But here's the part of her press conference that hit me the hardest: Julia Roberts said, “The rumors are true. I had anal sex with Lyle Lovett. He called it ‘Butt Love.’ I nicknamed it ‘Constipation.’ So, like, he would come home and say, ‘How about some Butt Love?’ And I would say, ‘I don’t like constipation.’ But then he would sing his folk song. It was so haunting... I let him dick me. I can still hear the lyrics every night... “Hot Buttered Butt Love / You Know That She Wants Some / Give It To Her Now, Stud / Put It In Her Butt, Love” I destroyed all seventeen sex tapes, but my ass never truly healed.”

Steven Seagal Endorses Birds & Blooms Magazine

I love Steven Seagal and will do whatever he says. Today he called me up and said this: “Hi. I’m Steven Seagal. Named after the bird. And I love three things. Singing the blues. Kung-fu-ing men in the nuts. And Birds & Blooms Magazine. I like the nude photos, of birds in mating poses. And the occasional flashes, of cute baby bird porn. I have a pony tail. And Birds & Blooms Magazine, makes me bloom in my pants.”

Review Of Eva Green’s Nude Sex Scene In “The Dreamers”

She may be French, but this is Quality French. Fine Naked Hottie French. Wet Kinky Whore French. Unashamedly Erotic French. I-Like-American-Cock French. She’s nothing at all like those lame-ass surrender monkeys. (I exclude Jacques Pepin, who invented the French Fry.) For this Frenchie is entirely edible. (Eva Green, not Jacques Pepin, although I would be willing to squirt ketchup on Eva’s tits and dip french fries in it, if she asked me to...) If you hate the French, like I do, check out “The Dreamers.” Eva Green’s boobies will really open your eyes. Two Singing Nipples Up!